Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow – that is patience…
Today is the 87th day since my first surgery. I still have my wound vac on, and although I feel it is getting better, it has been an extremely slow process. As I was thinking I was going on the right track, my doctor has again made the decision to put me back on IV antibiotics starting today. I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back. So frustrating. This decision was made as my blood work is still showing infection in my system. This whole thing has really taken a lot out of me. A surgery that was suppose to be fairly simple and about 6 weeks recovery is now at 12 and 1/2 weeks and counting. I will probably have the wound vac for another month (my goal to have it off by my birthday has diminished). Then I will be able to start physical therapy which will be another few months. I have a lot of work ahead of me as since the wound has not closed I have not been able to do any therapy. I have very little range of motion in my knee and it is going to take some time to get that back. I find myself in very dark stages and these stages come more as time goes on, although I try my hardest to smile on the outside, inside my spirit is slowly fading. I hope that this whole ordeal ends soon and I can get back to my normal life. Right now that seems so far out of the realm of possibilities.
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